R.Wilde
[At R.'s father in law's home, outside discussing rain or the lack thereof]
Characters -
father in law - Ray Curvin
mother in law - Kitty Lynn
brother in law - Ross
wife - Larae
kid - Jefferson
Ray: "i do declare, this is quite possibly the driest spring i have ever seen."
R.: "we're in a drought for sure."
Ray: "Oh, it came a little rain earlier in the week, but its so daggum hot out that the sun just sucks it back up. See how my grass is dying here."
R.: "mines the same. good thing we arent under any water restrictions in my county. i spend all my free time watering the grass and the flowers. Aint that some kinda life?"
Ray: "i guess we are going to have to start doing a rain dance every afternoon. you still got your headress?"
R.: "nah, i traded it for an old pair of shoes with a secret zipper pocket."
Ray: you trading now? your starting to sound like Ross. That boy'll trade fer anything, ya know." See that old kangaroo down by the picnic table? he traded a penny runned over by a train and some old loose camel hairs fer it."
R.: "what in tarnation would someone be doing with camel hairs?"
Ray: "he knows a feller who uses them fer good luck, sells some too i think, along side his collection of rabbits foots."
R.: "makes sense i guess. thats a mighty sporty looking kangaroo aint it?"
Ray: "Kitty Lynn and i've been sitting on the porch swing in the evenings watching the squirrels play all around that kangaroo. They wont touch it though."
R.: "they dont know its fake?"
Ray: "i guess not, they seem pretty confused, yet very curious around it. one constantly stands guard watching its every move, course it dont move at all. Kitty Lynn asked me "do you think those squirrels have ever seen a kangaroo before?" and i said, "dear God I hope not!"
R.: "haha, thats a riot."
Ray: "we are in trouble if theres kangaroos out there and we dont know it.
R.: "you aint kidding. Has Jefferson seen it?"
Ray: "yeah, he saw it when Ross first brought it over. I think Ross was going to give it to him as a birthday gift.
R.: "no joking? a birthday gift?"
Ray: "Jefferson wont go down there close to it though. he said he dont trust it. i'll admit, its looks a mite scary, didja see how muscular it is?"
R.: "i'm gonna take him down there and make him look at it up close. its a flower pot for pete's sake. JEFFERSON! Come here son."
Jefferson: "hey daddy, whut you want?"
R.: "we're gonna walk down to see the kangaroo."
Jefferson: "Aww man!"
R.: "Shhh! Lets sneak up on him, ok?"
Jefferson: "Daddy, you are supposed to give kangaroos plenty of room if you walk up on one."
R.: "oh i know. did Ross tell you about this kangaroo?"
Jefferson: "no."
R.: "he didnt? he sure should have, i hear tell this particular kangaroo was around in brer rabbits time when all the animals left sister moon to come to the earth. anyway, the story goes that this kangaroo, Jimmy's his name i think, that Jimmy invented the first flash light and told sister moon not to come around no more, that he got tired of all her nagging. well, sister moon knew Mister Freeze from Batman and she had Jimmy frozen and here he stands today with his pouch used as a flower pot."
Jefferson: "Daddy, dats silly. Mister feeze is not reel."
R.: "thats what i thought too, but this story started making more sense when i saw Jimmy down here eating grass around 11pm one night."
Jefferson: "nuh uh, no you didnt daddy."
R.: "whose to say i aint telling the truth? What if i'm right and we is here sneaking up on old Jimmy, kinda scary huh? I always heard you cant sneak up on a kangaroo."
R: "go ahead, touch him."
R.: "careful dont feed him nothing, he might bite ya."
Jefferson: "daddy, he's not real."
Jefferson, not taking his eyes off of old Jimmy declared, the kangaroo's not real. R. instructed him not to disclose their conversation with his mother.
Back at the house, first thing, Jefferson told his mother about Sister Moon, Mister Freeze and Jimmy.
Nothing else for R. to do but tell the truth, "Larae, i have no clue what the kid is talking about" as he winked at Jefferson. He gives R. the double wink back and asks if they can go for ice cream.
R.: (speaking to Larae and the family) "happiness and harmony, thats what counts with children...(now mumbling) and kangaroos."
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