Powdered Toast Man
Some of you might have known this, but I feel it is important to build trust by building a firm foundation with honesty.
I have several superpowers. Don't be shocked or scared. I am just like you, but better.
My first and greatest superpower is that I have super powerful taste buds. I honestly consider this to be more of a curse than a blessing. I simply can't eat the slop that most of you common people eat. If food has even a teaspoon of mayonnaise as an ingredient, my super senses are heightened and I must do everything possible to avert consumption of this aforementioned devil's condiment.
Needless to say this superpower got me in a lot of trouble as a kid. I was called horrible and hurtful names like "picky". This curse, this "superpower" has now been passed to my boy, Jack Jack and yes, his mother is out to get him. It starts with the eating of "the green beans", but where will it stop?
My second superpower is that i have the uncanny ability to avoid food messes. What do you mean by food messes Robbo, you might say. Ok, for instance, I was at Johnny Ray's in Vestavia, engaged in stimulating conversation and patiently awaiting the delivery of a piece of their best lemon pie with cool whip topping to be placed on the table in front of me for consumption. As the waitress approached, she lost control of her tray launching the pie plate toward the vicinity of my lap.
I tell you people that something takes over and I become as agile as a cat, faster than a shooting bullet. I dodged that pie that day my friends and as the entire restaurant sat in utter amazement, I stood victorious. As I raised my arms in celebration the masses begin to carry me around on their shoulders and cry out my name to the rooftops. This was just one example, if I were to write about all these experiences, there wouldnt be enough bookcases in the entire world to contain all of these events.
And last, but certainly not least, I am the Powdered Toast Man. Nothing more needs to be said.
No comments:
Post a Comment