Close enough to Atlanta to parachute out, the pilot (aka captain) speaks...
Captain Petey: (over the intercom to passengers): "hello again, this is your captain speaking, if you look out of the right side of the plane you will notice a dark wall of clouds. That ladies and gentlemen is a thunderstorm Currently we are 50 miles from the runway, but the Air Traffic Control has had us in a holding pattern for the last thirty minutes due to air traffic in this area. "
Captain Petey still talking: "Now thanks to this storm we have to deviate and head toward columbus in an effort to sneak in behind the storm. The problem with that folks IS THAT WE ARE BURNING FUEL LIKE CRAZY."
My buddy Randall was sitting next to me. We were in the emergency exit row. He casually mentioned to me that he had read the book, Free Fall about a plane that ran out of fuel at 41,000 feet.
I informed him that i would be ready in case we would be called on to lead these people to safety in the event of an emergency landing/crash.
I was ready to step into the limelight and become the hero that deep down i knew that i was capable of being.
Unfortunately the lady sitting next to us who had been sleeping the whole trip woke up and heard the captain and then our comments.
I honestly didnt think she was a woman because if you notice she had a huge adam's apple but whatever. She began to frantically look around as though she was trying to locate a lost item.
Randall: "excuse me ma'ma, are you ok? what are you looking for?"
Lady: "i'll tell you what i am looking for...."
She found it and the whole plane went nuts!
Nobody even knew exactly why they had gone so quickly into such an irrational state other than one lady lost her nerve. She went from sleep to pandalerium in 0 to 60 seconds and couldnt handle it. People are like lemmings jumping off a cliff, you scream, i scream we all scream for ..wait, why are we screaming?
Anyway, the crew finally calmed all the passengers a bit more and then we starting going through terrible turbulence.
Some people become extremely frightened when the plane starts dropping. I heard one lady scream, "i just threw up in my mouth a little."
I shook my head, tsk tsk. i remained as calm as a cucumber in a house salad. As we bumped along, i hit my flight attendant call button...ding ding and the little red light came on brightly.
The flight attendant carefully manuvered her way to the middle of the plane where i sat and said "what do you need sir, are you ok?" Most of everyone else was rather tense and praying that we land soon and safely.
"oh, i am fine, but i must have been dozed off when you previously came by with the snack cart, can i get a pack of crackers and a ginerger aisle?"
Needless to say, she was not amused, but to me one question does not a trouble maker make.
After we landed and coasted on fumes to our gate, the pilot came on the intercom once more.
Captain Petey: Folks this is your captain again. I apologize for the bumpy flight but we did get you here to the gate a few minutes early with no problems save for one trouble maker. You know who you are sir. Have a good day folks and we invite you to fly the friendly skies with us again where ever your travels take you, everyone except the trouble maker that is."
As we walked off the plane, Randall told the pilot, "thanks for saving us enough fuel to get here."
Captain Petey: "Dont mention it sailor, no worries."
Fly those friendly skies baby, such is the life.
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