unopportune timing

Friday, August 24, 2007

Wilde stated an observation that he had made over his short life to his dear wife. "Honey, have you ever noticed how things happen at an exact unconvenient time? For instance as we drive down this street, the traffic light will change when we approach it forcing me to decide between running the yellow light or slamming on the brakes."

"when you come to a stop sign on a sleepy street in the late a.m., you'll have to wait on a car before you can go. There was no car for an hour before you get to the sign and there will be no car for an hour after you pass the street, but for some reason when you approach, a car will come along and require you to wait."

"Most of my observations in this regard have a common theme. There is always a car involved. At night when i pass under street lights while driving, they very often flicker and go out. They dont go out when i see them down the road, they go out at the precise moment i travel under them. I find these types of occurrences quite peculiar."

So yesterday r.wilde took the opportunity to mow the law before the stifling heat set in. Wilde noticed another similiar observation.

Wilde pushed the mower to the back yard as he finished the lawn. He walked back around the gate to move the hose when he noticed a tiny deer. It still had its spots. Man oh man did it look like Bambi only it wasnt talking and there was no forest fire to speak of.

Wilde rushed to the back door, demanding that Larae come see the critter. She came out and they slowly walked around the house, but the deer had moved. As they peered back around the front of the house a car started up the hill coming in the direction toward Wilde's home. The baby deer who was only about knee high jumped when she heard the sound of the rumbling engine.

"Didja see how high she jumped?" Wilde asked, "that woulda been over my head!"

Just then when the vehicle was about to pass by the house, the deer darted in front of the car. The driver slammed on his brakes and looked over at Wilde.

Wilde put his arms up and shrugged his shoulders as to imply "dont look at me, thats not my deer or anything".

The deer dashed to the neighbor's house across the street and slammed head first into their privacy fence. The driver and Wilde looked at each other in utter amazement and ran to check on the deer.

The driver motioned to Wilde that he was deaf. They communicated pretty well considering their circumstances. The deer bounced back up and was gone. They chased him through a neighbor's lot, but were disappointed to come up empty handed.

The driver made hand motions and spoke in muted tones to tell Wilde that this was the second deer he had almost hit this morning. Both were close calls. Wilde waved goodbye and the driver gave him the thumbs up as he got back in his car that had been parked in the middle of th road and drove off.

As Wilde relayed the story to Larae, she expressed sentiment for the deer (running into a wall; no mommy deer; etc...) and the driver.

"Why didja feel bad for the driver? he didnt actually hit the deer or anything."

"i dunno", she stated.

"was it cause he's deaf?"

She didnt say anything.

"I wouldnt feel sorry for him, he had a tribal tattoo on his arms and was smoking a cigar. I am sure he has friends."

She erupted in laughter. "thats sounds like something you'd say. you're so stupid!" More laughter ensued.

"wanna know the odd thing though Larae? That deer could have run across the street a minute or two before or after he drove by, but its like i was telling you, this stuff happens unexpectedly at the most unopportune times. crazy...."

"doesnt make any sense", she said.

"thats what ive been trying to tell you!"

"no, i mean you. you dont make any sense."

"maybe i dont, but at least i'm not a girl!" And Wilde stormed off. he didnt speak narry a peep for the rest of the day, except to say "woman! whats for lunch?"

.....

am i the only one that notices this kind of stuff? its the stuff lives made of...for me anyway. I guess its part of the test, maybe has something to do with patience. Go figure.